there's a conclusion to my illusion


On my morning speed walk to work last Thursday, I caught a glimpse of this black board poster thing that begged to be filled with graduation goals. Of course, I only had enough time to take this picture, and I didn't at all get to scribble on it myself because I don't believe that Berkeley time applies to my work schedule, haha. But on my way to work it finally dawned on me--after a good semester and a half of being a golden burrrr--that no matter what day, Sproul will always have something going on and it's just a matter of finding out what, whether it be some righteous protest or something as empowering as goal graduations. 

It just got me thinking I guess--these goals. Lately I've been so caught up with the flow of my so called life, that I haven't really been able to even find the time to set even set up any goals, and that's just kind of disappointing. I haven't had much time for anything lately, tbh. And I suppose it's great to feel busy and productive, but whenever I feel the necessity to crash or to take a day, I kind of just resort to a day in bed with Netflix--which isn't at all bad, but I really wish I had more of the passion and motivation to spend my time more creatively or sating wanderlust or some other thing I know my friends would pin me as "hipster" for. I've lived in the Bay Area for almost a year now and I still haven't crossed off the cliche trip to the Golden Gate or the revisit to the Exploratorium or even see a play at the Boxcar Theater again. I've had my copy of Damned by Palahniuk and The Wind Up Bird Chronicle by Murakami for almost 4 months now and I've barely read a chapter in either. I don't know, I guess I just have the tendency to get upset with myself when I de-prioritize my ""creative growth."" Maybe that's why I've really been feeling this song by Seinabo Sey lately:



Ughhhhh the lyrics are just so incredible and this Kygo remix has been a wonderful reason to live. ♡ 


In other news, I have established living situations for next year with three marvelous ladies, and as wonderful as the notion of living in an apartment is with their rad beings, the process of actually landing an apartment is extremely ugly. I don't look forward to the first month's rent and security deposit draining the life out of my bank account and I don't at all anticipate the awkward two week homelessness period of when our dorms kick us out and our apartment move-in day. AGH. Also I really really like wearing these shoes with anything. Lol.

Spring Break is only a w e e k a w a y, and when I'm on my way to SLO to see Josh I really really hope time decides to slow down. 

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