outfit of the day: resolutions for my almost 20 yearold self

positive vibes beanie: charlavail | jumper: thrift | pants: uo | doc martens

Disclaimer: This may or may not make its way to a full blown existential crisis-let's just run off to Neverland kind-of-rant

What do you get when you put the eager New Year's Eve count down and notorious ball drop along with the lively Filipino tradition of jumping and sprinkling of coins all over the floor? The grand entrance 2014? Or the electrifying realization that I'm turing 20 this year? Yep, you got it. Both.

Ever since I turned 17--what the fuck, almost three years ago that was--I've been constantly irked by the daunting reality that my age is closer to 20 than it is to 10. It shouldn't be surprising, considering that I've been riding this, say, threshold between childhood and adulthood for awhile now. But regardless, it's been internally painful for me to know that my days of caring less about real-life responsibilities are very clearly numbered. And I know I shouldn't dwell, but I just can't help being sucked into that soul-searchy trance that begs the question(s)--am I fulfilled? Satisfied? Gratified? Have I accomplished the teenage dream? Did I treasure my youth enough? And it annoys me that to some extent they seem pretentious and whiny but ugh, just whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

On another note, since I don't really have answers, I decided on a composing a kind of continuing list. A sort of--hence the title--resolutions for my almost 20 year old self. 

  1. Carpe omnia
  2. Document my moments more often
  3. Learn more of my parent's stories
  4. Take more pictures
  5. Earn a piece of paper legalizing my ability to drive
  6. Werq, possibly pay part of my student loans idk wishful thinking?
  7. Be courageous enough to apply for an internship
  8. Hike and see more nature
  9. Learn my mother's magical cooking powers
  10. Explore more of the environment that surrounds me
  11. Read a Murakami novel
  12. Venture out to SLO
  13. More shows
  14. Ring in turning 20 in the grandest way possible
  15. Get tatted???
  16. Move into my first apt
  17. Get more of my creative Photoshop juices flowing
  18. Eat healthier so I can eat more of what I want lol whatever it makes sense to me
  19. Ask more about my little brother's and sister's days
  20. Tell people that I love them

I wore my share of """lucky""" colors during NYE, which according to feng shui, since 2014 is the year of the Wood Element--the Wooden Horse--the lucky colors are green and brown.

Positive vibes and time to create my own luck.

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